I used to be the most insecure girl in town. Everyone was prettier and more brilliant than me. At least that's what my brain kept telling me all the time, plus anxiety and panic attacks were my best enemy in my teens, twenties, and early thirties. Sometimes I recall those moments and think, "How have I made it here so far? Well, I am here, and that's all it matters, regardless of how I got here.
I was lost and confused, physically, mentally, and emotionally. It felt like I was never enough or worthy of anything, so I handed over control over my life for many years to others, looking for approval, acceptance, and love. I always felt like giving up before even giving things a try, never finishing any project, and always leaving them halfway through, and not because I didn't have the desire or wisdom, it was because of fear of being rejected or not being liked or accepted. Of course, my mental disorders and body shaming played a significant role. I was obsessed with my body shape, always thinking about my weight, the less, the better, and obviously, that wasn't healthy.
Feeling less than all the time and having so many insecurities made me make so many poor decisions because I used to trust others instead of trusting myself and listening to my own heart; one thing I always wanted was to become an independent woman in every possible way in my life but honestly that practically impossible because as human beings we always depend in others or things and that okay too, I learned that that asking for help is perfectly fine but to the right people.
Today I am in a bit different place. I am a complete, grounded woman with so many ups and downs, perfectly imperfect, but that doesn't mean that what I just told you is gone or cured (I wish), not at all. I have tools now that help me take life a little more smoothly. I've learned to embrace every piece of me, my body as it is. It's beautiful and complete, and my mental health is better because of all the self-growth I have done myself. That includes seven-plus years of therapy with my wonderful, loving, and supporting psychologist, to which I will be eternally grateful.
Keep in mind self-love is not a destination. It's a journey. And for me, it has been a hell of a trip, and I am still riding the wave of my life. Now my natural wish is to inspire and help others to do the same, to live a life with a purpose, not just go through life in autopilot mode, "Wake up, work, eat, sleep and repeat" life is way more than that you deserve way more than just that.
But I have to say that I sometimes feel like a beautiful gazelle leaping in the middle of the forest, and other times I want to bury my head underground like an ostrich.
Why Self-Love is Important
The short answer is that it's the best gift you can give yourself. When you love yourself, you are able to show that love to others in a more genuine way. When you have self-love, you don't need validation from others because you know your worth is unshakeable. Your self-worth is what makes you attractive, glow, shine, and valuable to people in the world! But it's something you and only you can do it.
No one is coming to rescue you from your mental, emotional and physical health; self-love love is the key that opens all the doors in your life.
How I Learned to Love Myself
One of the most important things is starting to set healthy boundaries; let me repeat that for the back row, "healthy boundaries" and not only with others in your life but with yourself too. I will never get tired of talking about healthy boundaries. I have a blog about it here on my page. HOW TO SET HEALTHY BOUNDARIES.
When you start to put yourself first above everything and everyone, You learn how to be more confident. You stop worrying about what other people think anymore. You realize that your worth isn't dependent on how many likes you get on social media. That is just an example of what we can encounter nowadays. These are all examples of self-love and self-growth.
How You Can Learn To Love Yourself, Too
Here is what has worked for me; from my experience, it wasn't an easy journey and still is not, but here are some steps you can start implementing.
You might want to keep a journal about all the things that happen in your day that make you feel good about yourself.
Celebrate everything you accomplish in life, no matter how small the goal may be.
Negative thoughts are okay is the nature of the brain going straight forward to the negative place but start being aware of them, then shift them and rephrase the thought with a positive one. This works!
Spend time with yourself "alone time" start with 5 minutes per day and keep adding to it. Listen to your heart and thoughts and be okay with that; it's okay. They are only thoughts. Ask yourself what you really want and need that day; believe me, you have the answers within you. But also,o it's okay not to have answers all the time.
Move and feed your body, mind, and spirit. Find an exercise that aligns with your needs. It's essential to feed your body nutritious food, but it's more important what you feed your mind and spirit, be careful of what you read, watch, and to whom you relate. Having toxic relationships won't help in this equation at all, watching negative news or reading false propaganda.
SLEEP, sleep, and more rest is vital for your overall health; if you want to start taking care of yourself today, start focusing on your quality of sleep, this is the most significant piece of the puzzle. And if you need help accomplishing it, let me know because that's my biggest FORTE.
A Challenge For You
Here is a challenge: Stop complaining for one day and instead be grateful for everything that happened to you that day, bad or good.
Notice how much better you feel and how many more self-love thoughts you have.
With all these said, I have nothing more than to wish you all the best in this beautiful book called "Life" enjoy your journey as it is.
Ps. I will see you all back in my next blog, and please feel free to share it or send me any feedback. I'll appreciate it. Those are the things that help me keep going.
Much Love and Light,
-Ana 💜
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